Confessions of a Dangerous Harry
by Nekofujin
Summary: What happens when Harry returns from the Galactic Leyline... PLEASE review!!!


Confessions of a Dangerous Harry   
  
***Caution: Mild language used***   
  
-A few months after the end of the series-  
  
It was a day like any other at Starwind and Hawking Enterprises. Gene lazed around on his couch on the indoor balcony, playing that annoying dating video game, normally losing within the first five seconds of play (trying to grab the girl's butt really doesn't help any). Aisha was cooking yet another batch of that gross Ctarl-Ctarl stew stuff that nearly cost the crew's life once before. Jim tinkered with a miniature Gilliam thing, causing it to say things like, "turn left to get to the laughy house", and "never eat a whoopy cushion on yellow summers" (whatever that means). Suzuka was out in the back alley practicing with her bukuto, cutting garbage cans in half with it, making a lot of noise, etc. Melfina, for quite some time, tried politely asking Aisha if she could use the kitchen for a while to make dinner for the crew, but Aisha insisted that everyone was going to eat her Ctarl-Ctarl stew and like it, dammit.   
  
Finally, after loosing for the one hundred and twenty-second time (Aisha was secretly counting while bringing the stew to a boil), Gene threw the game across the room exasperatedly.  
  
"Why can't anything INTERESTING happen today??" he yelled in frustration, running his hand through his long, gorgeous, shiny flaming red hair...  
  
Melfina, who'd been watching Aisha cook with interest below Gene's balcony, turned around and met Gene's pouty gaze. She gave him a quiet smile and a soft, contented "hmmmm".  
  
Just as Gene was about to say something uncharacteristically sweet to his love, there was a knock on the front door. Gene, craving any action at all (which even includes golf, the poor guy), put on his yellow cape and quickly strode to the door. He opened it and did a double-take of disbelief.  
  
"...Harry MacDougall???"  
  
Yes, it was him, the turquoise haired, purple ribboned cyborg who had supposedly died in the Galactic Leyline to let Gene and Melfina live together, despite his undying love for her.  
  
"...But... but I thought you were... DEAD!" Gene ran his hand through his hair a second time, since his crimson locks seemed to have the same calming effect on him as chocolate does on women.   
  
"Where's Melfina?" Harry said, trying to look over Gene's shoulder (ha, that's funny, with his cape on, that's impossible) to catch a glimpse of his kindred spirit.  
  
"Uh..." Gene replied, hesitant to disclose any information with a crazed undead maniac.  
  
Melfina appeared behind our hero, wiping dry a glass she had just washed, and said interestedly, "Who is it, Gene?"  
  
At the sound of his beloved's voice, Harry just about went crazy(er), and pushed Gene aside. "Melfina!!!" he cried. He attempted to move forward, but for some strange reason, his feet seemed to be glued to the ground...  
  
"Oh, hello, Harry," Melfina said casually, continuing to dry the glass. "What brings you here?"  
  
Harry almost died a second time at the indifference in her voice. "Melfina," he cried again, actually moving forward this time to embrace Mel in a long, awkward hug.  
  
Before his task reached the "hug" stage, however, Melfina moved a few steps back. "...Harry, maybe we should sit and talk for a while, first," she said, with one of those "how nice of you to drop by" smiles.  
  
Harry, still devastated at how little emotion Melfina showed him, nodded slowly and sulked over to the dining table, where Mel had already sat down.  
  
Gene stood in the open doorway still, scratching his head. He knew he wasn't going to like this one bit.  
  
"So, where have you been?" Melfina asked, once she managed to get Harry to say anything.  
  
"...I'd rather not talk about it," Harry replied. "I've been to twelve therapists, and I'm still not..." he looked down and twiddled his thumbs. Gene sipped his drink awkwardly, careful to keep an eye on Harry's hands. Aisha laughed loud and annoyingly, like she always does.  
  
"You wouldn't need a therapist if you were a Ctarl-Ctarl," she proclaimed, stirring her lethal stew with one hand, the other on her hip. She laughed another time. Harry continued to twiddle his thumbs.  
  
Melfina smiled at Aisha. "I'm afraid we aren't fortunate enough to be as emotionally strong as the Ctarl-Ctarl," she said, putting her hand on Gene's as he reach for his caster. Gene looked into Melfina's eyes, and moved his hand   
  
back on the table.  
  
"Fortunate???" Jim yelled from the other room, then proceeded to laugh as well. Aisha pouted.  
  
Suzuka the walked in just as Aisha was going to try to do her metamorph thing and maul Jim, and noticed Harry. "Oh. Harry MacDougall." she said as a way of greeting. Then, calmly, "I thought you were dead."  
  
Harry looked up, then yelled, "ISN'T ANYONE AT ALL SURPRISED THAT I CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD???"  
  
Gene shrugged. "Anything's possible, Harry."  
  
"Enough of this," Harry said, putting his hand on Melfina's leg. "Let's-"  
  
Before he could get anything else out, Gene's caster was on Harry's jugular artery.  
  
"That isn't your caster, is it, Gene?" Jim said, standing at the edge of the room now. "Gene, those are hard shells to come by! Don't waste them on HIM."  
  
"But," Gene protested. "it looks cool..."  
  
"What, am I not good enough for a caster gun now??" Harry interrupted. Everyone stared at him. "...Never mind..."   
  
"What the hell," Gene began, "do you think you're doing, just waltzing in on us, then... then... THIS!" He pointed at Melfina's now handless leg.  
  
"I died to keep Mel happy!" Harry cried. He does that a lot.  
  
"Yeah, and being happy means that she and GENE are together, not she and YOU," Jim said, leaning against the door jamb. "Scumbag..." he mumbled under his breath.  
  
Everyone waited a few seconds for Harry's reply, that never came. He was staring at Melfina's left hand. Finally, after a few long moments, he said, "Mel... an... engagement ring...?"  
  
Melfina looked down at her hand, met Harry's gaze, and nodded with a quiet "mmmhmmm".  
  
Harry's eyes welled up with tears. "But, Melfina, I thought... I thought that   
  
maybe... WE could get married..."  
  
Gene removed his caster from Harry's throat, but didn't place it back in its   
  
holster. "You died so that Mel and I could be together, Harry."  
  
Aisha sipped a taste of her stew loudly. "Almost done!" She grinned. Everybody but Harry stared at her. Harry cried, face buried in his hands. Melfina patted his back reassuringly.  
  
Just as things always happened, the phone rang at the most inopportune time. Gene, still with his cape on, holstered his gun and got up and answered it.  
  
"Starwind and Hawking Enterprises," he said, lifting the receiver. Fred Luo's face appeared on the screen. Damn, Gene thought, and kicked the wall. We really need to get Caller ID...  
  
"Hello, Gene!" Fred replied in his much too happy way, tugging at his ear. Gene wanted to roll his eyes in disgust, but since he owed him over 100,000 wong (still!), he thought better of it.  
  
"Hi, Fred." Gene said unenthusiastically. "What can I do for you?"  
  
"Oh, I just thought that we hadn't talked in a while, so I'd drop you a line!"  
  
"That's... nice... Well, it was nice talking to you, but I have to-" Gene was interrupted by one of Harry's sobs.  
  
"Oooh, do you have company over? Anyone I know?"  
  
"I don't think so. Really, I have to go now."  
  
"That's not what you said last night!" Fred winked. Gene glared. "Kidding!"  
  
"Yeah, right..." Gene mumbled. "Anyway..."  
  
"I can see you're busy Gene, so I guess I'll let you go," Fred said, a little less happy than he was a moment ago. "Keep in touch!" Fred hung up.  
  
"The hell I will," Gene said, placing the receiver back on the hook. "What a lousy waste of time..."  
  
Gene returned to the dining table, where Harry was noisily bawling, and Jim was -successfully- playing Gene's dating game. Suzuka sipped her tea serenely.  
  
"...Harry, why don't you go lie down for a few minutes, or something...?" Gene said at last.  
  
"I love you!" Gene's game cried.  
  
Harry looked up at Gene, eyes red, puffy, and extremely gross. He nodded.  
  
"I need you!" Gene's game cried again.  
  
Gene showed Harry to the couch, where, instead of lying down, he turned on the television and maxed out the volume to drown his sobs of woe. Gene returned to the dining room once more.   
  
"What a nutcase..."  
  
"YOU WIN! YOU WIN! YOU WIN! YOU WIN!" screeched repeatedly from Gene's game. "Yes!" Jim screamed, and did a little touch-down dance.  
  
Everyone ignored Jim. "I suppose I would be a 'nutcase', too, Gene," Suzuka commented, "if I had died once." She took another sip of her tea.  
  
In the other room, a commercial for the latest Land Before Time movie (#3,978: "Journey to the Land Where Nobody Gives a Freaking Care Anymore") blared, but still failing to cover Harry's pitiful whimpers.  
  
Gene rolled his eyes and went to where Harry was. Everyone exchanged worried expressions. They heard the television turn off, then on again, then Gene yelling, "Turn it off, or I'll shoot!" The only sound that could be heard was the Land Before Time commercial for a few moments, then a gun shot.   
  
Silence.  
  
After yet another exchange of glances, Melfina, Jim, Suzuka, and Aisha ventured to the other room, come to find that Gene was threatening to shoot the TELEVISION, not Harry. The TV sizzled in its own remains with a few pops and crackles occasionally sounding. Now, however, Harry was terrified out of his already ludicrous mind because Gene now had the gun- not his caster this time, to Jim's relief- pointed at the turquoise-haired maniac.  
  
"Gene, no!" Melfina cried, losing her cool for the first time that day. Gene looked at her, looked at Harry, and then holstered his gun. Gene crossed his arms and went up to the indoor balcony to sit on his couch. Melfina ran to Harry.  
  
"I... I think I should go now," Harry stuttered, still quite shaken up. He stood, and stared blankly at the sparking television. He shivered.  
  
"Please, Harry, feel free to drop by again," Melfina smiled weakly. "Gene was having a bad day. I'm sure it'll be alright with all of us if you came by some other time."  
  
Harry, slightly interested by what may have caused Gene to flip out like that, decided to inquire further. "...What made his day so bad?"  
  
Melfina's smile widened. "He got bored."  
  
THE END 


End file.
